This episode is the second of two episodes dedicated to discussing my daughter Abi’s death. I talk about some of the struggles (like anxiety) my husband and I faced after she died and how tending to that trauma revealed other layers of trauma. I discuss responses to stress, the challenges of grief, relationships after loss, and loneliness.
Once again, I refer to McCracken and Semel’s (1998) book A Broken Heart Still Beats: After Your Child Dies. I also describe the book Tear Soup (1999), which uses the metaphor of tending a pot of soup on the stove to represent how we need to tend to our grief. I give advice about how to deal with those who are grieving.
The last episode’s name “Autrefois” and this episode’s name “Aujourdhui” are references to poems with the same names written the French author Victor Hugo to refer to how he felt before and after his daughter’s death.
In the episode I mention the “tend and befriend” stress response, which is an alternative to the “flight or fight” response. Here’s an article that talks about this stress response more.
If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, your local hospital and Hospice services have information about local grief support groups. You can find a variety of grief groups across social media and may be able to find a group specific to your type of loss.
If your grief has you considering suicide, please reach out for help by texting or calling 988 or text a crisis hotline at 741741. While grief can feel lonely, you are not alone!
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